I feel like over the past few months, my blog has evolved into something that I don’t love. I’m feeling like I post just for the sake of it, and end up using link parties as “fillers”. Ideally, I want my blog to be a reflection of who I am and what I truly care about! A quality representation of myself, running, fitness and life all fused together happily.
With that said, there is a chance I may step back from posting. Not intentionally – I just don’t want to publish out of obligation to “get something up” that day. I am going to try my absolute best to keep posting Monday – Friday, but if I don’t have anything relevant / important / interesting to say, I am just not going to say anything!
Phewf. Glad that’s out of the way. Now let’s chat. Last night I was physically woken up by the sheer horror of my dream. It wasn’t murderer-scary, but the shocking kind that leaves you at a loss for words.
A little bit of background: for the past seven months, I have been working at a job that, to be blunt, makes me feel fairly useless. I am in no way criticizing the position, but I don’t think I was the right person for it, and, as a result, I have never been able to feel fully “integrated” in the work.
Last night, I had a dream that my boss sent me seven emails calling me disgusting, defaming, that I ruined everyone else’s work, and a seemingly endless list of other awful things. I jolted awake at 4am and had to check my email to make sure that it hadn’t actually happened. It just felt so incredibly real, and even writing this I have the words playing in my head as if it did.
The reason that I am blogging about this is because it made me realize that I cannot keep wasting my time with things that don’t fulfill me. Yesterday I mentioned that I have a big decision to face, and I think I have it made.
I didn’t get into kinesiology. But I got into the BMS.
For new readers (hi!), the Bachelor of Media Studies / BMS is the program that I applied to when I first arrived at UBC. It was the perfect plan, or so I thought. Then, this past January, I had a literal epiphany that Kinesiology is my passion, and the media studies courses I was enrolled in were making me miserable.
Until last night, I have been going back and forth over whether or not I should accept the BMS. Obviously I wish I got into Kinesiology, but I have this opportunity in front of me that I genuinely wanted for a long time. The plan was always that if I didn’t get into Kin, I would take a year off and travel, work at Credo, and re-apply for 2016. What I didn’t consider was being accepted to the Bachelor of Media Studies!
Now, though, my decision is made. I will be taking a year off from UBC and moving to Toulouse for three months. France has had a special place in my heart for as long as I can remember, and I don’t think I will ever get another chance to immerse myself in the culture like this. The setup is honestly perfect: I can stay (and work!) up to 90 days without a visa, and I can live with my amazing friend I haven’t seen in two years.
I’ll spend three months working in an adorable French cafe and speaking their language nonstop, and then come home and work in my beautiful cafe for eight months before heading back to Vancouver. During this summer and my time at home in 2016, I’ll be working / volunteering my face off to ensure I get accepted to Kinesiology.
I don’t believe in regrets. But at the same time, I know I will have them if I don’t take this chance while I can. Now all there is left to do is buy a one-way ticket to Toulouse!
What adventure do you dream of going on?