I seem to say a lot of hilarious things. They don’t sound that ridiculous coming out of my mouth, but once my friends hear them, they become impossible to let go. It’s all good fun, and we still laugh about things I said in October. So I decided to bring you my Top Five Quotes from the “Shit Emma Says” note in my friends phone. Because, yup, that definitely exists.
Alternatively titled: Favourite Times Emma Sounded Insane
1. “You’re going back to New Zealand?! Can you bring me something made of sheep?” I suppose I could have just said “wool”…but that would have required me to actually make that connection.
And on the same note…
2. “I’ve never seen a sheep before. Does it look anything like a lamb?” I was most definitely imagining “Mary Had A Little Lamb” while asking this question. I DON’T LIKE ZOOS OKAY?!
3. “William Shatner – the guy who wrote my Pyschology textbook!” “YES, HE DID WRITE IT.” “I will bet you money!” “Oh…Shacter.” All you Star Trek fans, I am deeply sorry. Please forgive me.
4. “Why do you care if it’s raining when we go to the waterpark? It’s inside!” Apparently in places with normal weather (aka everywhere except Alberta), they have watermarks outside…what a concept! Although I would definitely be down with going down a water slide on a toboggan.
5. “How many people does it take to lift the ship’s anchor?” Righhhht. Because an anchor heavy enough to secure a 200 000 ton vessel in the middle of the ocean can just be, you know, casually tossed off the edge.