Sometimes I wonder if I’m really meant to be a runner.
I feel like every time I hit my “stride” and get in a regular running groove, something stops me. Whether it’s a physical injury or just a lack of desire, there is very rarely any consistency with my running.
Just a few weeks ago, I was posting nonstop about runs and how fired up I was, I ran a surprise 10K PR and was absolutely in love.
And then pretty much instantly after that, the love disappeared. It didn’t dwindle into nothingness, or slowly fade out. I literally woke up the next morning and could not fathom anything I would rather do less than run. And I continued waking up like that.
So what did I do? I stopped running! Yes, it does suck that I’m losing the base that took me so long to build back up to. And yes, I am concerned about my 10k this Sunday and my actual chances at a sub 1:45 spring half marathon. But do you know what would suck more? Slogging through runs because I “have to” and feeling tired and depleted nonstop. That was what running was doing to me, which is why I quit cold turkey.
I’m re-evaluating a lot of things right now. I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself in every aspect of my life! Because news flash: I’m not a professional runner and running does not pay my bills! It is perfectly okay to run if and when I feel like it, and shoot for a time goal if I want. Nobody told me I have to get a sub-1:45. If somewhere along the line I get a fire lit inside me to run that time, then great! Otherwise, I’m going to let it go.
Right now I am truly doing everything that my body is asking of me. I eat the food I crave when I’m hungry, and snack when my stomach and/or taste buds request it. If I’m tired, I don’t work out. I walk throughout the day and stretch to stay mobile. I don’t judge my body for what it looks like, and I tell myself I’m beautiful.
I don’t need anything else to validate me! So that is a rather roundabout, deeper-than-planned explanation for why there has been a dramatic lack of running posts around here. Knowing me, Life’s A Runner will switch back over eventually, but it will only be when I genuinely want to.
Although I expect that will be sooner rather than later because there is negative (really sick pun here) chance of me going outside en route to the gym in Edmonton weather.
I genuinely hope that this post is coherent because it’s currently 12:19am and I’ve been studying computer science for hours. Hope your Friday is amazing!
PS it automatically will be because it’s Friday.
How cold is it where you are right now?
It’s between 7-10C all week in Vancouver. I’m never going home.
What time do you usually go to sleep?
Before college = 10pm MAX. Alas, my old lady days are over now and I
rarely never sleep before midnight.