WOW. These past 2 days have definitely been a whirlwind. On Saturday, I moved into my dorm room, met a million new people and started figuring out what life would be like on my own. On Sunday, I said goodbye to my mom, realized that I was REALLY on my own, and only freaked out a tiny little bit. These are my achievements of yesterday:
- First run on campus without getting lost
- First shower in shared bathrooms without being grossed out/forced to wait
- Found a textbook online for 1/2 the price that the bookstore wanted ($100 for a book I will never touch again…no thank you)
- And a few more things because I’m awesome like that but we can leave it at that.
I’m feeling preeetty positive now, but I’m forcing myself to a little. You guys, starting university is SCARY! At first (last night) I felt SO lame because it seemed like my whole floor was going to this gross frat party and I would literally have rather scooped my eyeballs out with a fork. I was exhausted, not to mention I’m so not a party chick anyways. SO yeah. I was blaming myself for being weird and abnormal because I hadn’t made best friends in the 12 hours I had been there and would rather go to sleep than rub against sweaty people. It sounds ridiculous now, but in the moment it was tough!
After a couple of phone calls with my dearest mother and talking to myself a little, I realized two very important things.
1. I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HECK I WANT. Seriously. I am 18 years old, and made the (really freaking hard) choice to move away to university instead of choosing the safe option and living at home. Seeing as “whatever I want” is things like going to bed earlyish, not drinking, and sometimes chilling in my dorm room, yeah, I can do what I want. There is no one telling me that I HAVE to go to this party or spend all my energy from dusk till dawn trying to make friends. I can spend a lot of time doing that and go to a party if I feel like it, but I don’t HAVE to. It sounds obvious but has been so comforting.
2. I don’t need to apologize for being myself. I knew all throughout high school that I wasn’t a typical teenager. I love to work out, eat healthy, and do well in school. THOSE were my priorities then, and just because I am now a university student doesn’t mean that has to change. It can…but only if I want it to. I’m not going to apologize for not drinking / sleeping a normal amount / BEING MYSELF.
I am Emma, a health nut who runs and reads. And I ROCK. Thank you.