You see, there’s an art to salad making in these parts.
There are none of these “throw it in a bowl” meals happening. That’s just unacceptable. My OCD is unable to handle that. Also, I would require approximately seven “normal” bowls of salad to equal one Emma-sized meal.
Start off with the boring stuff. Put it on the bottom and get it out of the way. Make sure you rip up some greens super tiny and then leave others the size of your face. Variety is the spice of life, right?
Next, it’s time to add some colour to this funeral! Chop up anything that’s NOT green and plop it in your bowl (that is the size of approximately three heads). Bonus points if it’s a pepper and you decorate your kitchen floor with the seeds on purpose.
Green is such a lovely colour, though! And your spinach/kale is lonely. You didn’t use arugula because you would rather not die with the taste of cat vomit in your mouth. So add something else cause three’s a party.
Here’s the thing about Christmas music. IT MAKES YOU WISH IT WAS CHRISTMAS. IN JULY. So when you’re Emma, and your future husband starts singing in your ears, it’s not like you can just turn it off. The horror. Then comes the holiday cheer. Since nobody else feels the same, though, make yourself feel better by adding some christmas colours to that good ol’ salad.
I know you are smarter than me, though, and wouldn’t try to mix it up without any liquid. Kitchen counter explosions = too much cleanup for lazy summer folk. Hummus dressing to the rescue! It’s a really complicated recipe but I believe in you guys.
Apple cider vinegar
Devour, then be thankful you aren’t as insane as the crazy girl who just posted this.