Acting Out of Fear.

Seriously – if you try to get me to do even simple math in my head I will start sweating and hyperventilating and tell you that 2 x 2 is the log of 8. It’s not. It’s 4.

I JUST FINISHED MY LAST EXAM!!! If you couldn’t tell already it was math. If you couldn’t tell already I despise math. BUT I only guessed on one question so I am considering that a wild success. I’ll let you know in a month if that’s still the case.

exam-lolJust too accurate. 

But let’s not talk about numbers. HIGH. SCHOOL. IS. OUT. Never again will I walk through that door – and I am 100% thrilled about it. High school was not a miserable experience for me but it definitely wasn’t wonderful either. A combination of courses just not meant for me, mean teachers and typical drama sort of put a damper on things.

But no more! In less than 45 minutes I am finally registering for my first year of university. Holy man alive I cannot even believe that. I have driven myself absolutely insane over whether or not I want to take the media studies program but ultimately I decided that I will. If nessecary, I can switch out for my second year far more easily than the reverse!

The reasons that I was doubting my decision are as follows:

a) Less-than-perfect schedule: The standard timetable is a little awkward and for my first semester I have some 2-3 hour gaps between classes. Instead of worrying about what to do, and being scared that I will be a wandering loner, I am saying HELLO lunch dates, mid-day runs and cram-sessions.

tired-halfThat sexy ponytail needs its Vancouver debut.

b) Unknown courses: Hello, my name is Emma and I am Type AAA. I need to know EXACTLY what I am getting myself into, the timeline of events and how many words per second each individual present will utter. I’m not sure if I am going to like some of the courses (computer science being one of them) but I am MOVING TO VANCOUVER, a city I have never been, all by myself. If I choose not to do something because I am scared of the unknown then I have no chance at life.


c) Winter break homework: Yep, I have one full-year course with 20% of my grade being a “literary review” over winter break. I have no idea what that even means and it’s definitely annoying but HEY: this past winter break I studied for three diploma exams so I’m pretty sure I can handle one assignment.

Looking back on those reasons, they are pretty gosh darn trivial. I’m so glad that I decided to write it down and think logically. The really hard decisions are when both options are good. For me, regardless of which schedule I took, I would still be furthering my education, learning about myself and having FUN! Who cares when my classes are? If school was the #1 priority I would be going to university in my hometown. Choosing this type of schedule is forcing me to go outside my comfort zone, accept that I cannot control everything in my life and plan it to be 120% perfect and just live. While stomping on fear.


4 thoughts on “Acting Out of Fear.

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