Live Your Own Life.

Wow, do I have so much to say today. I hope you’re having a great morning, and that you have a cup of coffee or something because the words are flowing.

latte

It’s no secret that I am madly in love with my job. I have the absolute best boss in the world – I can ask for any day(s) that I need off,  I work the same shifts each week (being able to plan my life is wonderful), and he is honestly just one of the best, most caring men that I know. We are currently in the process of looking for somewhere to live and he is giving us a ton of advice on where live, not to mention his promise to give me a recommendation for a job at a coffee shop in Toronto if I move there. No matter how stressed out he is he never fails to be relaxed and funny at work and never makes me feel bad for making a mistake.

tumblr_inline_mig3voOiG81qz4rgpEven when I do things like this. 

Then there’s the actual work. I get to learn SO MUCH about coffee, brewing it, its origins, tasting notes – I could go on forever. And then there are the regulars – the hilarious ones, the sweet ones, and my hands down favourites. They all make my day and never fail to put a smile on my face, no matter how long my day has been or how tired I am.

On my shift this past Saturday, a girl that has been working there for about 2.5 months was being trained how to do all of our baking. I was a little bit surprised at this because my boss knows how much I love baking and didn’t know why he was teaching her before me. I casually asked and he jokingly replied with something along the lines of “Maybe if you were sticking around I would make you head baker!”

And I just couldn’t get that out of my head all afternoon and evening. Since I was twelve years old, I have known for a fact that I would be moving out of Edmonton for university. I’ve done all the math, figured out how I would afford it, and have researched schools for 4+ years.

toronto universityThe University of Toronto, my current dream school. 

But this one job makes me want to change all of that. After almost every shift I come home and say “I would stay in Edmonton just for him.” <–Him being my boss. I had to actually go to the bathroom at one point because I brought myself to tears over how happy that store makes me, and how badly I don’t want to leave it.

I have very minimal experience with genuinely nice (adult) men, and so my boss stands out to me just that much more. There are so many extra things he has done for me that I cannot even begin to describe. I also have been dealing with a lot of friend-related issues that come with me changing as a person and planning to move away (and never come back). So the caring friends I have made there just add fuel to that fire, as well.

What I am getting at is that I have basically found myself wanting to alter the course of my entire life for other people. Yes, those other people have had the most wonderful, amazing, magnificent effect on my life, but is still about them. At this HUGE point in my life (becoming an adult and starting my life) I need to make my decisions based on my own personal goals and dreams. I can’t let attachments get in the way of what I want to get out of my time on this earth.

I just need to enjoy it while it lasts. In just over five months, I will be out of this city for good, and that will be hard enough as it is . I don’t need to dwell on what things will be like in the fall – I need to live in the moment and appreciate everything I have right now – and realize that it will only get better. Yes, it’s terrifying, but instead of being sad about what I will be losing, I should be excited about what I have gained from this job and how it will help me gain even more out of my life going forward.

patience

I now know that I deserve to have a boss that cares about me, that makes me a priority, considerate coworkers and a job that I love. I know that I am a deserving person who is worthy of someone else’s time and effort. And if anyone tries to treat me like dirt (or make me clean out a butter machine) I know that I will not accept it.

I will forever be indebted to this job for so many things, but I have to life my life for me.

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6 thoughts on “Live Your Own Life.

  1. I can almost feel your sadness Emma. Right through your words…it must be incredibly difficult to bring out the optimistic outlook to carry on. I know I for one would be afraid at moving on to something new and different, yet exciting of course. And it is your dream. Heck a school like that will be everyone’s dream!
    You are so right..to appreciate the marvelousness that is now, and look forward to greater things. While treasuring every memory 🙂

  2. It’s amazing that you are in a place you love so very much, but I also believe that is partly because YOU have made the choice to love it. Enjoy this moment and you’ll find even greater opportunities as you keep moving 🙂

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