AKA how to not go clinically insane after getting your wisdom teeth out/whatever unfortunate event caused you to require an extended soft diet.
On Friday the 13th I got my wisdom teeth out. The irony was not lost on me. However, it was made slightly better because before I went in my Sleeps to Christmas app told me that there was less than one million seconds until Christmas which made me happy.
Speaking of being happy…can I just say HOW RELIEVED I was/am that I didn’t wake up during surgery?! Honestly, my biggest fear was that I would wake up and nobody would know it, so they wouldn’t give me more drugs and I would just be lying there watching them yank out my teeth. Because apparently that’s a thing.
But it didn’t happen! The anesthesiologist just came in, told me he would give me drugs through an IV and gas and then I was out! Actually, this was my 100% unfiltered thought process:
1. Okay. Relax. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE. He told you to take deep breaths. Do it.
2. If the gas is going out into the room and not a mask how is everybody else not going to fall asleep?!
3. I’m not tired!!!
4. That smells weird.
5. OMG ITS OVER AND I DIDN’T WAKE UP.
6. OH MY GOD I AM STARVING TO DEATH.
And then I proceeded to try (and fail miserably) to talk! Something about a numb mouth full of gauze tends to prevent that sort of thing.
Then I proceeded to wait for an hour in the recovery room and very jealously watched the guy next to me talk NO PROBLEM. (No fair!)
When I finally left, I tried (and again, failed miserably) to make my mom relax, but it was really hard because I couldn’t talk so I just kept texting her smiley faces and giving thumbs up. She thought I was losing it.
We had to pick up my prescription so I ended up walking around the grocery store looking for pudding with two bags of frozen peas on my face. I just thought you would appreciate that visual.
Once we finally made it home, I went directly to the couch where I proceeded to listen to my stomach growl for a few hours before drinking a glass of the BEST JUICE OF MY LIFE. Then a few hours later I ate some applesauce that was even better.
And for the next few days I lived on yogurt, applesauce, pudding, and smoothies (with a spoon! For the love of god do NOT use a straw after getting your wisdom teeth out. It’s the best way to get dry socket which is the best way to ensure constant agony for 2+ months). But eventually, I started to get bored. It was really when I got sick of Greek yogurt (I know, the horror!) that I knew I had to switch it up. SO, for anybody in a similar situation, I hope that this helps you!
1. Mix applesauce with yogurt. It sounds weird but made me feel like I invented a new food!Try it.
2. Mix chocolate and vanilla pudding. Again, sounds so strange but it was kind of like a McDonald’s twisty ice cream and t’was delicious.
3. Enjoy being lazy! This is one of the only times where everyone expects you to be a lump on the couch for days so you should really take advantage of it.
4. Watch Alvin & The Chipmunks. It’s just too ironic to not.
1. Watch TV all day. I know this contradicts what I just said but hear me out! I seriously think that I may have been one of the first people to get their wisdom teeth out that didn’t watch ALL THE SHOWS. I read, instagrammed, and watched SOME TV. The reason I say this is because I noticed that after a couple of hours I started to feel even more lethargic and headachey that considering my mouth was already sore enough, I didn’t need to feel even worse.
2. Use a straw. I already explained this. My surgeon told me after a week I could but I’m extremely paranoid and will probably wait the 2 months until everything is 100% closed up.
3. Be ambitious. With chewing. Seriously, avoid anything that can be broken into even remotely small pieces for at least a week. And then anything super tiny, like nuts and seeds, wait 2 months.
4. Eat ALL the ice cream ALL the time. I know, your jaw just dropped. But just because you have to eat soft foods doesn’t mean you should totally abandon all thoughts of healthy eating! OBVIOUSLY enjoy your fair share of ice cream, but also load up on yogurt, homemade soups, applesauce, mashed sweet potatoes, mashed bananas (whole after a few days), and anything your little heart desires!
*DISCLAIMER: This is what MY surgeon and MY experience has enlightened me about. Listen to your doctor and your body.