Hip hip hooray, two posts in a day!
^No, no I did not just actually say that 😉
Today I want to talk about something a little deeper than my adventures in the kitchen. If you’re not interested because my blog is super new and you don’t care about me, that’s totally fine. Just keep scrolling.
I’ll admit. I bake my feelings. I woke up feeling sorry for myself and I couldn’t seem to shake it. So I spent a couple hours in the kitchen, during which I can usually process whatever’s been bothering me and get over myself. However, even that didn’t work today.
This morning’s post was before the worst of it – I was not and will never be fake on my blog. After I published it though, I didn’t move from my bed. I stayed, cross-legged, staring at my screen for a good twenty minutes. Then I closed my computer, and stayed in the exact same position for another hour. After that, I proceeded to wander about my house, alternating between holding back tears and letting them flow.
There’s been a lot on my mind lately. I have a big decision to make, not to mention I’ve been struggling with some drama in addition to the ever-present food issues. I’ve lost a couple more pounds I believe unintentionally, but I honestly don’t have a clue. All I know is that I am definitely not myself, and I haven’t been for a while.
I wasn’t planning on running for a while, due to the aforementioned weight loss, but I needed to go today. And that run taught me that I will do whatever I need to continue it. Running is my therapy, it is what keeps me sane and stops me from hating life. I am madly in love with it and I just cannot live without it. It sounds dramatic but it’s the raw, honest truth.
That run turned my entire day around. No, I didn’t get back feeling 100% amazing about everything, wanting to go dance on rainbows and sing show tunes. However, I felt in control. My problems became manageable and I felt capable. This is what I want to stress today.
You DO have the power to make whatever you want out of your life. Any bad day can be reversed if you choose to do so. There is nobody that is going to come and fix all of your problems for you, because you have 100% of the power necessary.
Too many people (including me!) get so caught up in feeling “Oh, woe is me. Everybody is better off than me. Nothing ever goes right for me.” and then forget to live.
Don’t forget to live.